In Which Carnita and Caleb Climb a Tree

If you and I were girlfriends, I'd probably start this conversation with a piercing squeal of joy, contributing to that persistent tinnitus you've been struggling with ever since you went to that My Bloody Valentine show a few years back and forgot your earplugs. You might just box my ears to make things even, and I'd scream again, and then I would proceed thusly:

I have a new lover. At times in the last 48 hours I have felt like I could just die of idiotic bliss--forgetting to breathe, or accidentally drinking antifreeze because it tastes sweet, or something like that--and at other times I have felt like an aged queen calmly surveying the elegance of the trappings of my life and all that I have managed to create. Not only has the last few days' experience blown the walls off of the realm of possibility to reveal a tender, shiny, germinating mystery, but I have been gifted with the unique privilege of being intimately associated with two of the most beautiful and impressive men I have ever encountered. I feel like a soft and nimble hand has applied some kind of growth salve to my heart. I am full.

Side note: I am writing this while at work, and James is about thirty feet away, looking positively gorgeous in his nerdy muscle shirt, hunched over his math book, sun-burnished hair falling over his eyes. I'd love to have a chaste, public-appropriate hug, but he continues to behave strangely when he sees me on campus. Furthermore, I'm not sure I can believe that he's just so intent on his school work that he can't stop to reconnect for a minute. No one is that busy. I wonder if his internal atmosphere has darkened towards us again. Le sigh. His repression is painful to watch. (I don't think I ever explained what he told me about the freakout that caused him to ignore us for so long. It turns out that his own homo tendencies had scared him that badly! The poor thing.) What a waste of brilliance and beauty.

When I met Caleb at a certain chocoholic's paradise downtown, the rain had been deciding what to do with itself for hours. This circumstance precluded a comfortable naked romp in some private grassy place, and so we had to improvise. I didn't honestly care what we did, as long as I could be near him. As we walked around downtown in the rain, we came upon a perfect climbing tree in an area that sees little foot traffic after dark. Some sort of evergreen with delicious-smelling, sticky black sap oozing out of it from what look like bullet wounds. We climbed about halfway up, and I tell you that twenty feet off the ground is a thrilling if not intelligent place to be in a thunderstorm.

There we stayed for a couple of hours, finding creative ways to do increasingly naughty and acrobatic things, while a storm raged intermittently around us. Loud thunderclaps, torrential downpours, and cathedral bells punctuated an already intense experience with Heade-esque dramatic flourishes. When the rain began to give us bone chills, we migrated to an intimate little bar where we had Polyconvo Part Deux. Yet again I was floored by how the powers that dole out fortunes to human beings could have made such an error in proportion. I mean, he's gorgeous, masculine, intelligent, sensitive, kind, and honest...and he is infatuated with me! I am still having trouble believing my luck.

When it seemed to be time to go, we headed to my car, where we proceeded to create enough fog to lend some privacy despite being parked on the street. It felt a lot like high school love affairs, necking and humping in a cramped car seat, halfway expecting to hear a tap and see a harsh flashlight beam any minute. Nevertheless, we made it work somehow.

Another side note: I think that in order to be true to myself right now, I absolutely must negotiate with Simon an overnight trip during my upcoming break to the town where Caleb spends most of the days of his week.

Speaking of Simon, I again feel hungry for him right after having an emotional and sexual connection with someone else. I don't think I can possibly be imagining the correlation at this point. Fulfilling poly play really does work that well to invigorate my connection to my primary partner. We have a date this afternoon to lie around in the sun, and I can think of nothing I desire more.