In Which the Volume of Exciting New Episodes Precludes the Use of a Clever Summary Title

It upsets me when I let this much time go by without posting, but life has been keeping me quite busy. I'll just jump right in to a loosely chronological re-cap.

I dumped Thomas. I sat with my patience for long enough to realize that I had no desire to wait around for a half-hearted romance to disintegrate quite obviously into something I didn't care to experience.

Here is the text of an e-mail I sent him after I regretted the briskness with which I had told him I didn't care to see him again, to which I received no reply, but which summarizes how I felt about the situation:

-----------------------

Thomas,

Actually, you're an INTP. You folks can benefit from constructive criticism based on sound rationale without taking it too personally, so it's perhaps less irrelevant to communicate this to you than it would be for a more emotionally "average" sort of person. So I'll say one slightly more specific bit.

I, like most people, want to date people who show some sign of being interested in me. In fact, I want to have pretty early signs that it wouldn't be totally impossible to fall in love or be fallen in love with. (Terrible grammar, sorry.)  The need for some outward and special appreciation or consideration is especially important in the moments and days after having sex with someone for the first time. So, it started with you not walking me to my car. Small thing, I know, but it seemed enormously symbolic. That's why I said I felt like I'd been hired: it seemed like a situation that must be like one that prostitutes find themselves in pretty often, except minus the wad of cash in my pocket. It didn't feel good at all. Then--and I don't care what the circumstances are, everyone has a few minutes to spare for people they really like--you were showing no signs of making yourself available or even planning to do so at some point in the future, and certainly not showing signs of being interested. This could have gone on for who knows how long. This kind of cold treatment, while in no way mean or outwardly awful, will still not get you very far with self-respecting women.

So I hope it goes better for you next time. That's all.

Carn

-----------------------

...and that was that. It feels like so long ago now. It has only been a few weeks, but so much has happened that I have had no time to dwell on it. It was a valuable learning experience about what I really want out of relationships, and it's over now, case closed and carcass in the fridge.

The next character to walk on the stage is Graham. We met on OK Cupid and exchanged several pithy e-mails before deciding to meet up in a friendly capacity. I believe he will fit right in with my people. I had a brief moment of thinking I was attracted to him when we first met, and I made the choice to be very direct about it. I asked him to draw me some boundaries, and thankfully, he did. Just friends. This too is good.

Ruth broke up with Simon. This is a sad thing for us both. She decided to try monogamy with someone. Simon was bummed for a few days but took it quite well, all things considered. I have a feeling she may be back...and anyway, we see her frequently when we hang out with our mutual friends. I predict that she may remember soon why she has been polyamorous for so long. 

I had a hot little make-out session one night last week with my new friend Evelyn. It was purely for the sake of a wild whim and for the sake of breaking her several months' long lack of play. And besides, I haven't touched a woman since Gina, so I had to make sure there wasn't too much I was missing. I am mostly just excited about friendship with Evelyn, though.

So now we arrive at the most superfancy exciting thing of all. The one-sentence version (which may be almost all that I have time for right now) is this: Simon and I are in the midst of forming some sort of basically quadrilateral relational geometry with two of our friends, who are also a married couple. I am not sure if I have ever had occasion to bring up Harriet and Zeke, but if I haven't, it is not because they are unimportant. Harriet is an especially close friend with whom I feel like deeply personal sharing has always been incredibly easy and satisfying, even thrilling at times, mirroring the intensity that I miss so much about my former relationship with Elena. Zeke I know less thoroughly, but we're getting to know each other on several levels...and boy does he have sexy hips. Simon and Harriet haven't done much exploring yet, but it appears that they may be headed in that direction very soon.

I expect that I will have much of interest to report as this develops. I will conclude by saying that this situation feels so much closer to my happiest poly daydreams than anything else that has insinuated itself so far. I feel like a pioneer--a very amused adventurer in uncharted lands. 

This is the motherfuckin' revolution, right here, in my pants.