In Which a Lazy Summer Sunday is Enjoyed by All

I have been joking all day about how difficult my life is. Ha! I've had breakfast brought to me, I've had manmosas made for me, and all I've had to do is sit around and read with Simon and Harvey and Valerie.

Have I mentioned Valerie? I'm not sure I have because she hasn't figured too heavily into polyland except as a wonderful newish friend. Simon met her on OKCupid and we met up with her as soon as she moved to town. Things took an immediate friendly tone, and she started spending several nights of most weeks on our couch. She also camped with Harriet and Tim and I at Transformus. And incidentally, she makes a bitchin' manmosa. So now I have mentioned her.

Oh, what's happened? Hm. I continue to think about Lachlan every day. My desire for him doesn't seem to be going anywhere. The lovelorn feeling of it all is both sweet and frustrating. We swap texts every few days, almost always at my initiation, but he always responds. The door is not locked, but everything is on hold. Caleb seems to have shown that he may not be in any condition to be the kind of trustworthy person I want in my life. He just can't seem to get it together to make time for me or do anything he says he is going to do. He is distant and unavailable, and my patience for his waffling and duplicitous neglect has worn down my feelings for him to tenuous shreds of 'maybe, but probably not.'

Last night I kissed a man at a party after talking with him for hours. Let's call him Dante. The conversation had the distinction of being the first one in a long, long while in which I have been so utterly fascinated by someone that I was content to sit and listen wide-eyed to a monologue. He doesn't seem to be any sort of natural monologue-er, but I was so transfixed and kept asking him so many questions that he continued and continued about his work fighting ICE off of potential deportees. Before he left, I asked him if there was any reason I couldn't kiss him. He replied, "No ma'am." Mmmmm, he had wonderfully full and sensuous lips. I guess I haven't kissed many people who aren't caucasian lately.

We exchanged numbers and have been playing phone tag all day, trying to arrange some time to hang out before he goes back home to a city two hours' drive from here. I frown at that, but hey, what can a girl do?

The situation with Crystal and John turned very weird very quickly a couple of days ago when John sent Simon a creepy shirtless picture of himself with no explanation. That was all Simon needed to decide to withdraw from the situation a bit. They seem more than a little upset that they creeped us out, but they have got to understand, right? I mean what the fuck. A shirtless photo? They claim it was a joke, but it wasn't funny at all.

I think that Zeke is too preoccupied to keep up any sort of other-than-platonic interaction with me right now. He has been distant and unavailable, too.

I've developed a different dimension of fascination with and fondness for Dan. I was telling Harvey, my lovely roommate and increasingly trusted friend, about what I like about Dan. This was right after I had spent a good deal of time moaning and lamenting my inability to get any of my potential lovers to stick around and be at least the tiniest bit predictably interested in me. And so I start talking about this friend who I've mentioned is attractive and interesting and all-around lovable, right? And Harvey just gives me this look of bafflement or something similar that I can't quite interpret. So I'm all like, "What?" And Harvey's all like, "Carn, why aren't you dating that guy?" I didn't know how to answer that question.

Basically, everything is on hold in the sex department and I am super lusty without a direction to focus it except through my vibrator. There are worse fates, I suppose. Otherwise, life is basically fantastic with the obligatory touches of frustration and longing and awkwardness. I am surrounded by love and friendship and creativity, and I'm about to have a motherfucking pizza delivered. What more could a girl ask for?

Speaking of creativity, I have also started practicing to become a fire dancer. Early experiments are going very well. No one ever accused me of being slow on the uptake, after all.

This has been a lazy laundry list. Happy Sunday!